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Supreme Court's Dobbs Decision Is SO BAD (How Bad Is It?) That It's Really...
Welp. Roe v. Wade is dead.This isn't surprising to anyone who has been paying attention. But it's still shocking.For half a century, Roe has protected the right to terminate a pregnancy. By the end of...
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Is There A Salacious Sexual Videotape Of Godly Christian Hetero Sex Stallion...
Last night, wayward Aryan youth Madison Cawthorn started releasing strange videos of him talking to his constituents, telling them everything was rigged against him, and that the evil mainstream media...
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Sunday Shows On Mother's Day Got Kind Of Weird, Considering
It's been one hell of a week. After Samuel Alito's medieval opinion to overturn Roe v. Wade leaked, the country has been dealing with it in various ways. But if the Sunday shows are any indication, we...
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Lauren Boebert Cites Noted Gunhumper 'Jesus,' That Guy Always All Pew Pew Pew...
Editrix's note: We're aware of all things on the internet and are not writing about the sexxxy sexxx allegations at this time as "we heard it from somebody trust us" doesn't meet our exquisitely high...
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New York Times Back On Its Bullsh*t, Finds Some Young Women Who Hate Abortion
In its continuing effort to raise everyone's blood pressure, the New York Times on Saturday delivered a glowing profile of a hip new counterculture phenomenon: young women who see the end of...
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British POTUS Boris Johnson Betrayed By Bunch Of SPLITTERS! No Really All His...
Boris Johnson, the glitchy animatronic figure serving as the UK's prime minister, wants everyone to know that his government is not in crisis and he has no plans to resign, just never you mind the...
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Hey, White Cis Gay Guys! They're Coming For PrEP Now. You Should Probably...
Hey, white gay cisgender guys, can we chat? We are one of those too! And we have been yelling and yelling for years that the fight for LGBTQ equality (yes INCLUDING THE "T," for those who still would...
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Christofascist Matt Walsh Knows Who Has Orgies, Okay?
Daily Wire commentator Matt Walsh — the answer to the question "What if the mom from Carrie had her own television show?" — is very concerned with other people's genitals. He thinks about them all of...
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Virginia Republicans Won't Get To Ban Dirty Sexporn Books From Barnes & Noble...
A Virginia judge on Tuesday pinched another rightwing censorship attempt in the bud, dismissing a lawsuit brought by two Republicans who tried to use an obscure commonwealth law to make sale of two...
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TX Judge Rules PrEP Coverage Violates Religious Freedom Of Zealots To Live In...
After the Dobbs decision came down, we had a piece about how, if they hadn't already, it was time for white cisgender gay guys to start caring. Because abortion is a constitutional right and it's...
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What The Hell Is Wrong With People Who Think Idaho Is Teaching Kids Pornography?
The Idaho Department of Health Welfare (IDHW) had to send out an actual press release this week denying that they are funding or in any way providing lessons on "porn literacy" to elementary school...
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Lindsey Graham Brings His Anti-Abortion Bullsh*t To The Sunday Shows
Last week, South Carolina GOP Senator Lindsey Graham announced a proposed national 15-week abortion ban, and many Republicans were thrilled pissed! But while many were trying to find the correct way...
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Right Stuff Dating App Flawless Victory, So Much Conservative Hetero Boning...
The Right Stuff dating app has been up for a week, and let us tell you, if the reviews are any indicator, this thing that Peter Thiel stuffed his gay money into is going great.As of this writing, it's...
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Peter Thiel's Right Stuff Dating App Going All Kinds Of Wrong
Not all of Peter Thiel's investments this year paid off as well as his shiny new senator from Ohio, JD Vance. He dropped $15 million into the black hole that was Blake Masters's US Senate campaign in...
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Rudy Giuliani Talkin' Kangaroo Teats And Vaginas COME BACK HERE THIS IS...
It's important to say hi to Rudy Giuliani sometimes and just hear what he has to say. Just like you, he is a human being and he has thoughts and feelings.Sometimes his thoughts and feelings are that...
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Jurors Will Watch Trump Brag About P*ssy Grabbin' As He Tries To Convince...
In a resounding victory for advice columnist E. Jean Carroll, US District Judge Lewis Kaplan ruled today that the "Access Hollywood" tape — oh, you remember it! — can be shown to jurors in Carroll's...
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Ben Shapiro So Good At Knowing About Sex And Bodies And Stuff
Before we get back to your regularly scheduled "Everything I Don't Like Is Woke" Festival ("What's in the news this week? Bank collapse? OK, woke banks is a stretch, but we think we can do it!" — all...
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What Can Gettr Do To Get You Into A Brand New Set Of Deluxe Unvaccinated...
Longtime Wonkette readers are familiar with Trump MAGA idiot Jason Miller and his sphincter-shaped mouth. Sometimes it was about his sexytime trials and tribulations on the campaign trail for Trump....
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Texas Wingnut Says Dirty Book Ban Would Include 'Lonesome Dove.' Not A Good...
We missed this when it happened a little over a week ago, so a Saturday seems like a great time to catch up. Texas state Rep. Jared Peterson (R) is pushing HB 900, a school censorship bill he...
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Just A Couple Normal White Guys Talking About Boning And Breeding
Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk had a televised conversation about boning and breeding last night.The only weird thing is that they didn't have this conversation sitting nut-to-nut in a His-and-His...
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Despite Republican Freakouts, Michigan To Legalize LIVING TOGETHER, Even For...
In Michigan's state Senate Wednesday, a bill to finally repeal a long-disused (because it's literally unconstitutional) 1931 law forbidding unmarried couples from living in sin easily passed, so...
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Marjorie Taylor Greene Gonna Ban 'This Pornhub,' AKA The Hunter Biden Website...
Marjorie Taylor Greene is furious. Know that thing when your mom finds out some guy at school has been teaching you how to smoke drugs and that it's OK to skip your daily homophobic prayers to QAnon...
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National Review Weirdo Gonna Teach Kids These Days About F*ckin'
Hey, let's all read a weird National Review article together.But first, let's meet our host. It is this white conservative weenus called Luther Ray Abel (also pictured above because we found his...
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Trump Can Appeal Any Damn Fool Thing He Likes. He's Still A Loser Sex Pest.
It's been four days since a jury in New York found Donald Trump liable for sexual abuse and defamation of E. Jean Carroll. In that time, the former president's allies have contorted themselves into...
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After $5 Million Verdict, Trump Still Trying To Slut Shame Carroll For Having...
BREAKING: Sometimes Donald Trump tells the truth. Not often, of course, and not when cornered. But when he tells you he wants to make America "great" again, he means it. It's just that his definition...
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Rudy Giuliani Sued For Being Exactly The Person We All Knew He Was
BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani a slobbering old pervert who reeks of scotch! Must credit Wonkette! Well, to be fair, we were mostly funnin' when we made fun of America's Mayor for wandering around with his...
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Jesse Watters And Nick Fuentes Have Dirty Old Perv Creeper Contest, Both Win!
Fox News's Jesse Watters once claimed/bragged about this slick move he had used to get the attention of the much younger woman who is now his wife, and it was to let the air out of her tires so she...
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